Resistance
by RiversEdge
Summary: Shalimar tries to resist her growing feelings for Emma.
1. The Golden Courage

_Resistance _

Authors Note: I don't own these characters but the story is mine. This story contains the

Occasional swear word, it's not like every second word kind of swearing,

but it's there.

Rating: M for some swearing and future F/F

Reviews: Please don't hesitate to write me a review, tell me if you like it or not. This is

my first try at a Shalimar/Emma fanfic.

I'm sitting on a stool in a club, the music is loud and I feel the sound waves move all around me as I wait for my drink. I close my eyes and think of that tall, thin, young woman that looks at me like the day starts because I exist. That young gorgeous, confused girl that probably is looking for an answer to that feeling that asks the question, the question of who I am and who I should be fucking.

She's looking for an answer, and I probably shouldn't get involved cause god knows how many times that I have been run down in the dirt because of that same question. God knows how many hearts have been torn out and left to bleed all because of one question, a question that picks at you and demands to be explored at someone else's expense.

It's that question that doesn't care whose heart you break, just as long as you find that answer. How do you find the answer to that question is unanswerable, you'll spend the rest of life trying to find that answer. The only way that you'll find that answer is the day you die, and then you'll realize the truth, the truth that this was all meaningless, that you spent your entire life running around looking for that answer. The question that has been driving you mad for most of your life is nothing but a bag of shit; you've wasted and hurt your life and your self to find an answer to a question that means nothing.

The bartender gives me my drink and I give her cash and whisper a thank you as I down it like a shot even though it's not meant to be drunken so. She looks back at me and back down to my hand to see the empty glass that's still griped tightly in my once upon a time innocent hand, She looks back up at me and raises an eyebrow. I look back at her and nod in reply as she walks back towards me to grab my glass and disappear to the bar rack stacked with the unlimited supply of courage.

I call it courage because it's the best thing to call it other than another anti depressant, another shield from the torment of your past mistakes. Or the mistake that happened moments ago, who cares nothing matters when you down that golden anti biotic to ease the pain and destroy the disease. But the problem is that it doesn't destroy the disease, it keeps that plague of the mind deep in your mind where you can forget it for the moment and begin to feel a false sense of clarity. It helps in it's self to release all the tension that's been deepening recently, often, uncontrollably.

The bartender's back with my drink; she places it in front of me and before she leaves she takes a moment to look me in the eye and with a sincere smile she says, "It's on the house". I open my mouth to reply but the woman is gone and my attention is back to that golden courage that seems to whisper back to me encouragements and offer of an answer. Answer to a different question, the answer that I'm sure that I won't remember tomorrow morning.

So I drink it lovingly, letting the strong taste flood my senses. I'm at ease all is good once again.


	2. The Mistake

_The Mistake_

(Most of this chapter is a dream that Shalimar is having. I wrote the dream sequence to describe part of the reason for the dark mood that Shalimar is in during the first chapter. The dream is actually what happened to Shalimar the night before she went to the bar. Enjoy)

_**I'm laughing, at a joke that Jesse is telling. The joke really isn't funny mostly because Jesse can't seem to tell between the beginning of the joke to the end, he's confused as usual, but all is forgiven since he's drunk, like the rest of us. I've stumbled on to the bed, as did Jesse and Emma, for some reason we're in Emma's room and on her bed, but it doesn't matter. I'm enjoying the moment and wanting desperately to hear this oh so funny joke, I nod my head lazily as the alcohol is making my body feel so loose. **_

_**The lights are off and I'm leaning on my arm as Jesse is struggling to tell the joke through uncontrollable fits of laughter, "honestly guy's the joke is soooooooo funny-" he starts laughing again, and I can hear Emma giggle at Jesse's inability to stop laughing and tell us the joke. **_

_**Of course, being the member of the team that seems to be the biggest tease, I begin to get my very naughty idea for a good time. I sit up for the moment and feel around the bed for Emma, when I find her lying on her stomach apparently sleeping; I carefully grab onto her braw strap and pull it as much as I can before letting it go. It hits Emma with a loud SNAP and Emma shrieks in shock, screaming my name in response. **_

_**I laugh and try to avoid her hand as she tries to slap me one straight across the face. I laugh again and feel the curl of my lips as I try again to get at Emma braw strap, not a second later I managed to get my finger under her braw strap and once again, I release it with a loud SNAP in response. She shrieks once again releasing soft giggles that make me smile for no particular reason, I hear her breathing and then I hear her say to me "It's not nice to tease me like that, Shalimar". She says my name in such a way that it makes me feel a sudden urge to tease her again, see what she mite do.**_

_**I respond in my drunken slur "And what will you do?" I let the question stay thick in the air for a moment; I can tell she's trying to understand what I'm saying, she just sits there quietly and after a moment I feel her smile. I turn my attention back to Jesse who has finally managed to calm himself down enough to speak.**_

"_**Ok guys, I got the joke" Jesse said as he paused for a moment to take a deep breath.**_

"_**Ok, so this vampire walks into a bar, right?" "Right" I reply, "ok, so this vampire walks into the bar, sits down and orders a mug of hot water. Everyone in the bar goes quite when they hear what he ordered; the bartender looks at the vampire and says 'what?' and the vampire replies 'hot water please'. The bartender looks at the vampire and asks 'why do you want hot water? Vampires drink blood, this is a bar for vampires, we only sell blood'. The vampire looks at the bartender while pulling out a paper bag with something inside, the vampire replies 'I know, I want tea'." **_

"_**Eeeeeewwww" I replied as I hit Jesse a few times "that's the grossest joke I have ever heard" I said through laughter as Jesse tried to get away from my slaps, Jesse, in an attempt to get up, fell back down with laughter. "Haha come on Shalimar, you know you love those dirty jokes", I laugh and said "yeah, especially jokes about used tampons, that's by far the worst joke I have ever heard, your lucky that I'm to drunk to be offended" I giggle as Jesse tried to steady himself enough to stand. "Say what ever you want Shal, you know that dirty jokes are your guilty pleasure", I laugh as I throw a pillow at him which throws him off balance for a moment, when he regains his balance he replies in a slur saying "what ever, I'm gunna go find Brennan, see what he's up to". And with that he's gone and I'm left alone with Emma who is watching me quietly as I lay down on the bed exhausted. **_

_**As I close my eyes and begin to relax I feel Emma move closer to me on the bed. I don't bother to move since the alcohol has made me lazy, and also the fact that I know that Emma wouldn't hurt me, so there's know need for me to move when I feel her directly over me. She's hovering over my form and I can smell the alcohol off her breath and her brown hair that's getting quite long laying softly against my cheeks. I'm so drunk that I don't even realize what she's doing, nor do I care, I just look up at her and watch as the light from the hallways mixes perfectly with the dark brown in her hair. The light isn't enough to reveal her face, just her hair, and I lay there in wonder for a moment.**_

_**She murmurs something to me as suddenly the light from the hallway turns off and we're once again left alone in the dark. I feel her hand place itself on one side of my head as I hear her ask "Shalimar, where's your lips?" I'm drunk and I'm not thinking straight so I reply, "right hear" hoping that she'd hear my voice and find out for herself. But she doesn't instead she asks me again after a couple minutes "Shalimar where's your lips?" I then take her left hand and guide it to my lips and wait for her to answer. But she doesn't answer, instead she lowers her head slowly and presses her lips to mine, before I know it I feel her lips open partly and I do the same, we kiss.**_

_**We're kissing and it's slow and sensual and before I know it she's moved on top of me and our kiss deepens, I feel her tongue against mine and I feel the drunken urge to touch her. So I do, I let my hands grab her waist and I feel her shiver as she breaks away from the kiss to breath it into my mouth. Not a second later her lips are back on mine and her body gets closer to mine, our kiss begins to become passionate as I hear her moan in response after I push her tongue out of my mouth and into hers so I can taste her. **_

_**Moments passed and before I know it I hear a voice coming from outside the doorway, I hear Jesse hollering with glee "They're kissing, they're kissing!" And before I know it I push Emma off of me and I fall off the bed with my head in my hands. **_

I awake with a start, sweat glistening on my skin as my hand goes to my aching head. I drank too much, I drank too much and I'm not in sanctuary. I let out a laugh of disbelief as I imagine the trouble I'll be in when I get back to sanctuary. I calm myself down and check out my surroundings in a hope to see where I am, after a minute I let out a sigh of relief as I realize where I am, I'm in hotel room, thankfully alone. After a moment to clear my head I check the time to see that it's 9:30 in the morning, so I call through my calm link and wait for an answer. After a moment I hear Emma respond on the calm link "Shalimar! Thank god, where are you?" "Everything's ok Emma, I just went to visit a friend, I'll be there in an hour". There was a pause and then Emma responded saying, "hum, ok Shal whatever you say, just come back safe, I'll tell the guy's that your coming", "Thanks Em" I say as I moved to get my coat on as I walked to the door of the hotel room and closed it behind me.


	3. Apology and Jealousy

_Apology and Jealousy _

I'm back at sanctuary and ready for the worst as I enter the lab to see Adam and give him my excuses as to where I was last night. I go through the lab doors and see Adam as he is apparently running some tests on the lab equipments; I stand near the door and clear my throat to get his attention. He rises from his concentration and gives me a worried glance as he shakes his head and says, "Well, good morning Shalimar", I look back at him and reply calmly "the same to you Adam." He keeps his eyes fastened to mine for a moment before returning his attention back to the computer monitor, "I'm sorry for not coming home last night. I was with a friend and lost track of time, it was late and I didn't want to bother anyone so I stayed at a hotel for the night. I'm sorry for not telling anyone" I look to the ground and wait for Adam to respond.

I hear a few taping sounds coming from Adam as he taps at the keyboard, he keeps his eyes to the screen before saying "I trust that what ever is bothering you, that you'll tell me what it is. So I wont press this matter further, if you want to tell me what exactly is going on with you then please tell me." He stands to his full height and folds his arms loosely across his chest before continuing, "and as for your apology, I except. Just please me more careful the next time you decide to fly solo for a while." And with that I have heard enough, I give him a weak smile and I leave the lab.

I make my way to my room, when I get there I open the door and close it behind me as I turn around I'm surprised to see Emma sitting calmly on my bed looking up at me. She gives me a look of concern, her shoulders are bunched up and I can tell that she's moved from calm to worried. I look away from her for a moment and try to gather my scattering thoughts, I know I want her to leave, but a part of me wants her to stay. But I know that I can't let her stay, I can't talk about this right now, so I force myself to look back at her and ask her "why are you here Emma?" she looks at me and I can tell that she's trying to read my cold expression instead of using her powers.

"Where were you Shalimar, we were so worried", I try not to feel bad but I can't help it I walk towards my dresser to pull out my workout clothes. I have my back to her since for some reason looking at her right now makes me feel vulnerable, like I'm hiding from her but she finds me anyways. "I was out with a friend, I lost track of time-","what friend?" she interrupts as I hear her burst off of my bed so fast that I was beginning to feel alarmed, her tone had changed for the moment it was as if she was trying to accuse me of something.

My back is still turned away from her and for some reason I feel myself imagine what she looks like right now, how her hand is brushing through her hair. How her face and eyes are directed at me, how her voice is demanding to hear what I was trying to forget. I doubt she knows about the drinking, and like hell if I'm gunna admit to it, it's none of her business anyways.

I pull out a black sleeveless shirt and hold it in my hands as if it will give me some sort of security, I feel her get closer to me and I know that I better tell her what she wants to know, but I lie anyways. "My friend Tara from high school, I met up with her last night and we stayed up together", I feel the air grow with intensity as Emma says nothing but I can already tell what she's thinking. The mood has changed and I can literally feel the jealously reeking out of her veins.

The feeling is so strong that I'm convinced that it's from Emma; she must not realize that she's letting me feel that emotion. I don't want to say anything because I don't want to embarrass her so I just stand there looking for a pair of pants to go with the work out outfit. She's trying to calm herself and when she finally does say something she says "and what did you guys do last night?" I smirk and spin myself around to see Emma who is desperately trying to hide the fact that she's jealous and worries that I spent the night screwing this 'Tara' girl.

I feel that guilt again and I hate it with a passion, I look at her and try to reassure her that nothing like what she's thinking happened. "Emma, we just talked for a bit, it got late so I left to go to a hotel room buy my self and sleep the few hours left of the night off". She looks at me and I can tell that she desperately wants to believe me that she needs to believe that I'm telling the truth, that nothing happened. "Ok Shalimar, I just want to make sure that you were safe. I didn't want to think that you were drinking and passed out only to wake up in a hotel room, that wouldn't be stupid!" and I try to hide the smirk on my lips because she's just so cute when she says things like that.

I turn around and try to hide my smirk but I hear her call out to me "Shal? Where you drinking last night?" "No Emma, I was with a friend while being completely sober. You've got nothing to worry about" I think I said that a little to fast. I turn around to see Emma with her arms crossed and a raised eyebrow, she can't help but think I'm lying. I really need to work on my lying.

"Relax Em, I wasn't drinking, now if you can excuse me I would like to get changed" and with that Emma gets up shines me a little to loving of a smile and leaves my room. I'm a little shocked but I force it out of my mind since I'm keen on not being involved or even considering being with my best friend in a more than friendly way. So I get changed and make my way to the Dojo for a well needed workout.


	4. Watching

_Watching_

I circle my opponent, watching and being mindful of his every skilful movement as the holographic feral matches my strides. Waiting for the right moment to attack, I focus and try to predict what he's gunna do next. I wait and I begin to feel impatient as we continue to circle each other and mimic each flow of our bodies preparing for the other to attack.

I remind myself to be careful to watch for any sign of attack, just then as I'm in mid thought the feral in front of me lands a hard kick to my jaw. I was ready, midway through the attack as his leg flies back in response to hitting my jaw I grab his foot with my left hand as my right hand moves to his shin.

His eyes go bug eyed as he realizes his mistake as he takes the fall to the floor with my counter attack already in motion. The split second of him being on his back I quickly twist his leg and force him to spin on to his stomach where I quickly release him only to slam my foot onto his head resulting in the sound of broken bones and a harsh whimper as his face connected with the floor.

I take a step back as I wait for my opponent to come to his feet, as I watch and ready myself for another round. After a moment the feral picks himself up off of the floor and flies through the air to get further away from me. I chase him and begin to run through my combos of punches, kicks, and a few specialty moves thanks to the feline DNA.

Most of my moves connect with his face and chest but after a split second of a crack in my concentration I feel the artificial bony fist of my opponent connecting with my face as I literally fly several feet away. I slam onto the hard floor and let out a whimper of pain as I force myself up to defend myself against the threat of another attack from my opponent who grins cockily at me. He launches another brutal attack as I ready to defend myself, he throws punch after punch as I block and return each time gaining some kind of edge. I keep this pattern up in till I find an opening in my opponent's defense and use it for my advantage. At that moment I use my opponents weakness and send him flying several feet away to land awkwardly on the floor.

The match is over, I have won; I take that moment to let my feral senses tell me what made me lose my concentration moments before. I remember the presence that for some reason alerted me unexpectedly, someone entered the room and was still there, watching me. I turn my head to see Emma staring at me, she smiles and with a quick look over and a strange grin on her face, she leaves the room.

She leaves me there panting and wondering what that grin was all about, I stand there watching the direction she left in. I look to where my opponent was once laying down in defeat and wonder why Emma's presence would disrupt my concentration, why was she starting to have an effect on me?

I stand there for a moment longer before finally turning to the staircase and making my way to my room where I definitely needed a hot shower, a change of clothes, and a moment in thought. Something weird is going on with Emma, something that I know that I don't want to be apart of because god knows that I don't need any of that bullshit. God knows that I can't deal with any complications; I'm just not that type of gal who enjoys complicated friendships. I should be careful, I don't want to fall in that rabbit hole because of one stupid mistake leading to that merciless question. If I fall I know it'll be forever, and when I fall it wont be because of love.

I can't fall for that, I don't even know why I'm even thinking this, Emma is my friend alcohol isn't gunna change that. Not even that kiss, I have to resist what ever the consequences are for my actions. I'm lucky as it is that know one else remembers what happened that night, hell if I know if Emma even remembers. But I know it's true, I think that grin answered that thought already, she must have remembered.


	5. A Mission for 2

_A Mission for 2_

I'm just laying down in my room calmly, trying to let the music flood my senses and force out any of my worries. Including Emma, but what worries me is that I can't seem to get her out of my head. She stuck on me; the tension is beginning to be too much. I know that I should talk to her but I can't, I can't even imagine what she's going to say to me when I ask her.

I know that Emma's quite the open-minded gal; hell she'd have to be to be a Psionic. I didn't even know that she was gay! Maybe she isn't, maybe she's just bi like I am. Apparently. I don't know, maybe this is me in heat after denying the urge to screw some guy. Maybe since I have been fighting this heat for so long, maybe this itch needs to be scratched so badly that I'm willing to screw not only a girl, but also my best friend.

"Shit" I growl as I try to fight out the images of Emma's extremely attractive features, especially that mind-blowing grin of hers. I turn onto my stomach and try to calm myself down when I sense someone at the door about to knock, I try to ignore the fact that I can tell that it's Emma and that I'm suddenly excited to see her.

"Shalimar" Emma says in an almost to casual tone, as I'm suddenly a wear that I'm clutching the bed sheets and wishing that Emma would come in and take her clothes off.

_Stop it Shalimar! Jesus, what the hell is going on with you?_ I say to myself as I shut my eyes and try to control myself. "Adam wants to see us, ok Shalimar. Can you turn down that music?"

I'm brought back to reality and realize just how loud my music is, so I turn it down and hear Emma say, "Thanks. So I'll see yeah in the lab in about, well, 5 minutes?" I now have my face cradled between my arms as I listen to Emma's sweet voice, I decide that I should respond so I tilt my head upwards and rest my chin on my for-arms. I think of what she's doing on the other side of the door, I can imagine that she's biting her bottom lip and crossing her arms.

I smile at the familiar stance before responding, "Ok Emma, I'll be there in 5", a small sigh of relief escapes Emma's lips from the other side of the door before replying, "alright Shal, I'll see you there." And then she leaves me here to fight back a smile and thoughts of her.

5 minutes later I find myself standing beside Adam trying to keep me eyes glued to the monitor and not Emma's deep blue eyes. I feel her eyes watching every move and every breath I take as I try to follow along with Adam's plan. "Ok, ladies, it's as simple as that. Get in, look around, find that disk and hurry back. No mistakes or you'll be in deep trouble with the guards that'll be posted throughout the area." Adam explained as I tried to keep my mind on him.

"So what's the deal with this disk Adam? What's it for?" I ask as I steal a glimpse of Emma who's still staring at me, I look away as casual as I can to pay more attention to Adam. "Well, this disk has very important information on two classified mutants used as body guards for the president.

No one knows about them, obviously, and they are quite dangerous. Also very powerful and mean to, so be extra careful, we need this disk so that we can have some sort of weapon that will dismantle them permanently and effectively without any of us spending time in a cast."

I smile at Adam's warning before replying, "well you don't have to worry about us Adam, we're tuff, young and sexy women with powers. I'm sure that we can weasel our way through and get what we came for and get the hell out of there before trouble comes calling." Adam smile and lets out a few chuckles as he nodes his head in approval, "yea I'm sure you two will do fine. Just look after each other and don't let anything happen to that disk!"

"Sure thing Adam, consider it done!" I reply as I nod my head while I mimic Adam's previous movements, "ok, very cute. Now get out there and don't come back till that disk is safe in Mutant X's hands," Adam stated as Emma and I walk to the door, "sure thing Adam!" Emma and I both say as we leave the lab and make our way to the Double Helix.

We're in the Helix and things seem to be ok, Emma and I are two busy piloting and finding our way to the location of the military base to really start a conversation. Which is great since I don't really feel like making conversation with Emma right now; mission first, then uncomfortable talk later, maybe.

"Ok, we are officially in mission mode, ready Emma" I ask as I land the Double Helix a safe distance away from the base and move to the back entrance, waiting for Emma to get out so I can put the invisibility cloak on the Double Helix. "Ready when you are Shalimar" Emma states as she flashes me a seductive smile while moving to tower behind me.

_Ok things aren't going to go as smoothly as I would like it. And she had to flash that sexy grin of hers, damn it I'm in trouble._ I say to myself as I press the button that will hide the Double Helix and wait for a moment to watch it disappear. "Ok, lets go" I say as I hurry along the path towards the military base's back entrance.

Emma follows me as I run to the door and pull out a small device that latches onto the door like a magnet as I wait to hear a soft clicking sound and then a deep followed by a green light appearing on the strange device.

I grab the device and put it in my pocket as I open the door slowly and watch for any signs of trouble. I feel Emma creep close to me as she tries to read the emotions of the people in the area, she taps me on the shoulder then whispers in my ear, "know one knows we're hear Shalimar, they don't suspect a thing." Without thinking my eyes flash to the feral yellow as Emma's hot breath tickles my senses.

As soon as I realize that my eyes are yellow I quickly try to calm myself as I slowly make my way through the door and down the long ghostly hallway as Emma follows me. I try to keep my senses alert as I try to listen for any signs that some one is coming, but I hear nothing so when I move to the door on the end of the hallway I open it and move to the right as I try to avoid the line of sight of the camera directly in front of me.

_I was lucky that time_ I say to myself as I move to the other wall and wait for Emma to make it across the room as she, for some reason walks straight through the line of sight of the camera. I mouth the words, "what are you doing?" as she smiles at me while she moves towards me. She leans in and says, "It can't see us because it's blind" she smirks as I realize what she means, _wow she's useful_, I say to myself before asking, "Your abilities can work on camera's to?"

She smirks and replies, "not on the camera, but the security guard who's watching." And with that she moves towards the door and slowly opens it. After a moment I follow her and try to remember where exactly we are and were the main office would be, where the disk would be safely hidden.

After a while of looking around and trying to find the main office, we stumble across the right door and go inside to find a fat balding man in uniform slumped over in his chair asleep. "Ok, someone didn't call Jenny" I joke as Emma hit's me playfully and I give her a shocked look as I smile. Emma looks around the office as I keep my eyes on the man asleep in his chair, after a moment Emma whispers in my ear, being careful not to wake the man. "I got the disk, lets go."

I nod and try to ignore the effect of her whispering as we leave the office and retrace our steps to exit the base safely and undetected. We make it to the Double Helix as I press the button to make it reappear, we enter the Double Helix and Emma presses the button that closes the door as we prepare for take off.

The ride back home wasn't as peaceful as I would have liked it, since Emma seemed to enjoy watching me squirm under her not so innocent stare. I found it almost impossible to think about anything other than Emma's beautiful eyes and amazing brown longish hair as it moved triumphantly with every movement she made.

Things didn't get any more easier when I heard her ask, "is everything alright Shal, you seem a little distracted." "What? Oh, no I'm just thinking. Didn't get to much sleep last night, so I'm pretty whipped and out of it right now." I say as I try to laugh off the uncomfortable tension that's clouding the air around us.

"We don't talk as much anymore Shal, I miss you" Emma says as I can literally feel her eyes drop to the floor and her hands loosely holding the other. I struggle for the right words to say, but I'm just so incredibly lost and confused, I fear that what I want to say will clash with what I should say. I don't want to open my mouth and hurt her feelings, cause God know I can say stupid things when what I want to say clashes with what I should say.

So I say nothing as we wait in silence to reach Sanctuary and go our separate ways


	6. The Clash

The Clash

After giving the disk to Adam then going our separate ways, I went to my room to listen to some music while Emma left to meditate. I guess I stressed her out when I didn't respond to her, I feel bad, but I can't say anything that I can't even understand. How could she even expect me to say anything like what she wants me to say?

I know that she wants to talk about what happened, she wants to know that I felt something when I was with her. But I can't give her the wrong idea, I can't let her know that it's ok to be with a person like me, I don't even know if what I feel is real or not.

For all I know this is all the fault of my feline DNA, I could be in heat. This could be the result of not following Mother Nature's call; I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. I mean, yeah I'm a flirt, but everyone knows that I'm a flirt, it's part of my personality God damn it!

I'm laying on my back and I'm watching the ceiling as my legs dangle from the edge of the bed. I can't help but remember that night when I made the biggest mistake I could make, I close my eyes and try not to remember it but the image and memory itself is as stubborn as I am. So I close my eyes and remember Emma and I alone on a bed with the alcohol flooding all common sense.

**_- I feel her hand place itself on one side of my head as I hear her ask "Shalimar, where's your lips?" I'm drunk and I'm not thinking straight so I reply, "right hear" hoping that she'd hear my voice and find out for herself. But she doesn't instead she asks me again after a couple minutes "Shalimar where's your lips?" I then take her left hand and guide it to my lips and wait for her to answer. But she doesn't answer, instead she lowers her head slowly and presses her lips to mine, before I know it I feel her lips open partly and I do the same, we kiss._**

_**We're kissing and it's slow and sensual and before I know it she's moved on top of me and our kiss deepens, I feel her tongue against mine and I feel the drunken urge to touch her. So I do, I let my hands grab her waist and I feel her shiver as she breaks away from the kiss to breath it into my mouth. Not a second later her lips are back on mine and her body gets closer to mine, our kiss begins to become passionate as I hear her moan in response after I push her tongue out of my mouth and into hers so I can taste her. **_

_**Moments passed and before I know it I hear a voice coming from outside the doorway, I hear Jesse hollering with glee "They're kissing, they're kissing!" And before I know it I push Emma off of me –**_

I open my eyes to see Emma on the floor as she's looking back up at me with a smirk on her face. I rub my eyes and try to piece together what exactly Emma is dong on the floor of my room. I watch her in confusion as she licks her lips and smiles, it's friendly yet it's not. And as I try to figure out what's going on a light bulb goes off in my head as I imagine what exactly went on while I was, apparently, asleep.

I move to turn down the volume as I see her lips mouth the words that I dreaded, "Shal we need to talk". I slowly bring my attention back to Emma who positions herself comfortably on my dresser as I sit up and keep my eyes to the floor.

I feel her smile and I will myself not to smile back as I'm certain that Emma did what I think she did. I suddenly feel anger as I ask, "What were you doing on the floor Emma?" I try to control my anger as she answers, "you should know, you pushed me". I look back at her and ask, "What were you doing in my head Emma?"

She frowns as she asks, "how did you know that I was-" "you were in my head" I interrupt coldly as I keep my eyes to the floor, as I fear her seeing right through my hurt and see what I really feel. I can feel her guilt as she says, "I'm sorry Shal, I know I shouldn't have-" "your damn right you shouldn't have!" I snap back as I look at her in all my anger and hurt.

She's fighting back tears as she says, "I owe you an explanation Shal-" "I don't want to hear it" I interrupt again. "WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME!" she screams as she practically jumps off of my dresser and comes pretty close to jumping me.

I just sit there neutral, I'm in shock, I have never heard Emma yell so loud in all the time that I knew her. I move my eyes away from her teary face as I say, "ok, I'm listening." She pauses for a moment as she grabs a Kleenex from my nightstand and dries her eyes with it. She looks up to the ceiling and nods her head as I can tell that she's trying to find the right words to use.

When she stops nodding her head she looks at me and says, "Shalimar, ever since that night when we kissed-" "we did more then just kiss-" "Shalimar please" Emma interrupts as I quickly apologizes, "I'm sorry, please continue".

"Ever since that night, you don't talk to me anymore. You don't even look at me anymore. It's like you don't even know that I exist, I try so hard now to get you to talk to me but all you do is either give me one-worded sentences or ignore me completely. I needed to know if it was because of that night that my best friend won't talk to me."

Emma stopped talking for a moment as she studied my body language; I looked up and instantly regretted it since the look on Emma's face hit me so hard that I felt like I could be knocked out with just that horrible look. She kept her eye contact with mine as she continues, "Shalimar, I know that these images of us have been haunting you for a while.

I came into you room when I sensed your dream, I wanted to know what you felt when we were kissing. So I went into your mind and tried to answer my own questions since I knew that you wouldn't tell me yourself."

I stare at her blankly, all I can think about is how she was in my mind without my permission, seeing things that she already new but forced out of me. She treated me like an enemy, she broke her promise, and she read my feelings and my memories.

"Tell me what's on your mind Shal?" Emma asks, I'm not thinking and when I say what I say I don't even know if I really regret saying it or not, "Why don't you find out for yourself. Will it be easier if I'm asleep?" I said it with such bitterness it surprised me.

I look at Emma and see her start to cry, as her eyes are so wet and red with tears, I fight back the need to cry, I fight back the need to go to her and hold her.

I fight these urges because I know that what she did to me was one of the worst things she could have done. She asked the question and instead of waiting for the answer she tore through my mind and got it for herself. I begin to feel the clash again, the clash between what I really want to say to what I should say.

And when she gives me one more pleading look and begs me to look at her I fight the final urge to look at her. And when she leaves my room crying I feel nothing, I feel as though she deserved what she got for raping me. I did nothing wrong, I was the victim and she was the girl that raped my thoughts and feelings, for all I know she made me feel these things for her. She made me feel so confused, these feelings weren't my own; I was manipulated and used by her, my supposed best friend.

It's only a matter of time before these feelings will go away, and I will be free from this false reality. And maybe after this my friendship with Emma will be saved, but I can't be around her right now, I think we both need to chill out for a while. And there's no way that I'm telling Adam, this is definitely between Emma and I.

**Authors note:** I hope that I didn't offend anyone by using the word 'rape' to describe what Shalimar is feeling. I just thought that in that situation when Emma went into Shalimar's mind without her permission and read her personal memories and feelings that it would make Shalimar feel like she was raped. Raped as in her trust was destroyed and how Emma went beyond her personal feelings and did something that was offensive, wrong, and hurtful. If this description of Shalimar's personal feelings by using the word rape offends you, then let me know and I'll get rid of it immediately. It's not in my desire to offend anyone, so if this does offend you please tell me, I have no problem with fixing something that offends someone. I know that Rape is not an easy topic to write or discuss so I will change it if asked.


	7. I Just Don't Understand

I just Don't Understand

I'm standing in front of the punching bag in the weight room, I'm not hitting it yet, just watching it as I tape my hands up and ready myself for a well needed work out. A few moments later my hands are taped and I'm moving around a bit to get my body warmed up before I take my first punch against the bag.

As soon as my fist connects with the bag it moves away from me and sways from side to side as I try to concentrate all my thought into each hard punch I through against it. Trying to control my breathing, make everything breath count as I try to keep myself from getting out of breath as I begin throw harder and faster punches.

Hit after hit I feel the pressure build in my arms as my muscles flex and bulge and move to transfer all the power in my arms, through to my fists which pound the hell out of the bag. I try to maintain my footing, make sure that I don't loose my concentration, making sure that my rhythm is consistent and unchanging as I throw punch after punch.

My pace quickens as I feel the memory that I'm trying to fight out of me being ignorant and consistent on my mind. It's starting to take control of me, her face her eyes the softness of her skin. The softness of her lips when she kissed me that night, and also when she was violating my mind.

I can't help but remember that she did kiss me when I was asleep, when I thought I was dreaming, when I thought that those mind blowing kisses were just a dream I open my eyes and push her to the floor. It hadn't occurred to me that Emma was actually kissing me when I was asleep, I guess she was lucky that I didn't know it yet, cause God knows that I'd probably make her cry even harder then I did before.

I hit the bag harder and I feel the anger flow from my heart all the way to my arms, to my fists and ending up in the bag. The bag is swaying more violently as I begin to feel the anger push it harder.

But soon enough the anger coming from my fists change into something else. Something that I don't know how to explain, I guess it was confusion, yeah it was confusion I'm hitting this bag for a different reason.

I hit this bag faster as I jab it with my left then come around for jab from the my right, then I jab the poor thing so many times with my left before I finish it off with a knock-out from my right. To bad knocking out this bag, pretending that it was my enemy didn't really get rid of what I was feeling. Nope, still there, like an ignorant bitch it's still there, no mercy.

I just don't understand it, that's probably why I'm holding on to the bag with my right while I jab at it so many times with my left that I swear that I can feel a tear from the skin on my knuckles.

But that doesn't stop me as I hit the bag harder, letting out grunt after grunt of exertion but going faster and faster. I switch positions as I feel my knuckles hurting on my left hand.

So I keep beating the living hell out of that bag with my right as I feel tears flooding my eyes as I try to get the image of Emma's crying out of my head. It's killing me, she's killing me, and what the hell did she do to me.

I stop hitting the bag for a moment as I try to control the flashes of memories of Emma's crying and her yelling out of my mind. I take a breath and let it out as I hold onto the bag for balance, as I feel dizzy with all these images flooding my mind. I close my eyes and try to control my breathing, I try to stop them but they keep coming, those images of Emma on top of me kissing and touching me.

Her giggle that made me smile, that question that I didn't understand since I was so God damn drunk. That hand that placed itself so close to my head, that hair of hers that rested itself against my skin that tickled me, now that I think about it. Her face that looked at me through the dark, and those fingers that touched my lips before she kissed me.

I feel more frustrations as the images come from calming me to irritating me as I realize that I'm thinking of her in a more than friendly way. So I push my self off of the bag and demand my body to work like it should as I try to warm myself up for another round with the bag that doesn't have any arms to punch me back.

I start out calmly as I try to get my momentum back, then I start to hit the now beat up bag a little faster. Faster and faster until my fists are like silver bullets as the white tape on my hands move through the speed of light to hit that bag as if my life depended on it. I keep my momentum, moving jabs from the left to the right, then two to the left and then three to the right coming back to two lefts before hitting the bag with a knockout punch from my right.

I smirk through controlled intakes of breath as I try my hardest to imagine that I'm fighting the best boxer in the world for the title. It's stupid and kinda lame, but it keeps my mind off of Emma so I enjoy the false sounds of people cheering for me in the stands as I pretend to avoid my opponent's fists.

I'm hitting my opponent with my best combo and as I'm about to finish my interpretation of how his face should look like after I'm done with him I hear a voice call me out. "Hey Shalimar! Are yeah listening to me?" the voice keeps calling out to me in my mind as I finish my opponent off with my right hand knockout punch.

I turn away from the bag and try to control my breathing as I look around for the voice that called out to me only moments ago. After a moment I look up to the banister above me when I hear the voice say to me, "Hey, Shalimar, enjoy your workout?" It's Jesse and I smile at his question before saying, "yeah, more or less".

I look up to him as I grab the towel off of its place on a chair and begin to dry the now cooling sweat off of my face. "Well you looked pretty hot, I'd think twice if I were your opponent after watching that." Jesse comments as I laugh at the flattery.

"Thanks for the compliment" "no problem Shal, ah by the way Adam wants to see you in his lab right away." "Yeah?" I respond, automatically thinking of the worse. "Ok, I'll be there in a minute". I reply as I move to walk up the stairs and head for the lab.


	8. What do you Want?

What do you Want?

As I enter the lab with most of the tape still on my hands I see the one and only Emma standing next to Adam. My heart skips a beat as my eyes meet Emma's as I dread the idea that Emma might of have a little chat with Adam.

I keep my silence as I wait for Adam to tell me what he needs to say before I even begin to think about defending myself. While Adam turns his attention back to me he says, "Shalimar, sorry did I interrupt something?" I smile and raise my sweaty and bloody fist in the air as I say, "nope, just working out some stuff the old fashion way."

"Well it's good that your keeping up with boxing, and please don't forget to clean those bloody hands of yours, some of have to eat you know." Adam says to me in his quirky tone as I smile sheepishly at him while playing with the rest of the tape on my hands.

Emma just looks at me occasionally, I know that she's trying to get my attention but I try to ignore her since I suddenly don't feel the urge to work out more of my frustrations out because of her.

So I pay attention to what Adam is trying to tell me as I continue to play with the tape on my hands. After a few moments of partly listening to Adam, I'm brought back to reality when he says, "and so forth, I'm going to need you two to get back into that military base and plant this virus on this disk on the main computer of the facility."

"What!" I practically yell out as I could have sworn that I heard Adam say something about me going on a mission with Emma. I look to Emma who's looking back at me with a weird smile on her face as she says, "didn't you hear the man Shal? It seams that we are going to be working together again."

All of a sudden I feel a strange urge, the urge that I feel is well, I think it's anxiety as I feel like running a marathon after how Emma just said what she just said, and that weird smile on her face didn't help much either.

But being determined to keep things natural around Emma, especially around Adam I quickly respond with a, "Right, gotcha. So why are we going back to the military base?" I ask as I try to avoid the odd look from Adam, while trying to ignore the distracting giggle from Emma.

"Well" Adam responded as he moved to his desk to retrieve a disk from a drawer that had a four digit number written on it, "We need this virus that Jesse just developed to be placed into the hard drive of the major computer in the base so that we can monitor there supplies. See what's going in and what's coming out, with this information it'll be easier to know the location of these classified mutants."

Adam paused for a moment as he typed a few keys into the computer, "another great thing about this virus, is that it's totally undetectable so they won't know that we are in there. And when the opportunity is right, we'll be able to shut down there computer systems and erase everything they have. Which is very bad for them and very good for us."

"Ok great, so when do Shal and I go in there and plant there going away present?" Emma asked as she smiled at Adam's chuckle. "Well, you have about an hour and a half, so if I were you, I'd get ready." "Sure thing" Emma and I both said at the same time as I hurried to leave the lab to go back to my room and think.

But as I was about to leave the lab Adam called out saying, "Emma do me a favor and help Shalimar to clean her boxing wounds up. Just don't want her to forget like she usually does." He said as I closed my eyes and mouthed a very dirty word to myself.

I practically envisioned and felt the smile appear on Emma face as I spun myself around to say, "ah no thank you that won't be necessary" I smiled as I tried to ignore the accusing look on Emma's face as Adam just stood there in puzzlement.

"Now Shalimar, don't be ridiculous. I'm just going to help you get your priorities straight." Emma responded as her arms moved to cross themselves neatly across her chest. "And what's that supposed to mean?" I ask as I wonder what kind of hidden message she's trying to get across to me.

"It means" Emma says as she moves to the cabinet that's only a few steps away from her to retrieve a role of bandages and a tube of antiseptic, "that you need to swallow your pride and let someone take care of you." Emma finishes as Adam looks on with a knowing grin on his face.

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself as my eyes follow the curl of Emma's smile and then the twinkle in her eyes as I finally find the power in me to look away. As I turn around to leave the lab I immediately feel her follow me closely as we walk towards the ledge out-looking the in-door pond.

We site down close to each other while I avoid her eyes and pray that this torture is over soon. I keep my attention on her hands as she grabs my left hand and starts to remove the tape; she's careful and quiet except for her mellow hums as I listen in wonder.

I feel her eyes on me again and I start to feel tiny butterflies in the pit of my stomach as the softness of her hands begin to sooth me but make me anxious as I try to wait patiently. When she's done putting the antiseptic and bandages on my now tape less left hand, she moves to my right as I react to the lose of her touch in my left hand.

After a few moments later when Emma's about to take the last of the tape off of my hands I hear her humming stop. I keep my eyes down as I hear a soft giggle come from Emma's lips before she says, "I've been thinking about you a lot Shalimar." I gulp at this random intrusion as I ask, "why?"

She smiles, and I begin to blush as she then says to me, "I'm not sure if there isn't a reason to be thinking about you." I gulp again as I don't say a word, I'm not sure what to say and all I know is that I don't want her to stop caressing my hand as I now realize that she's finished fixing my hand.

She's been finished for maybe a few moments now and she's now holding my hand in her left hand as her right hand caresses the back of my hand. She smiles at me before she continues, "I just wanted to say that I am truly sorry for invading you. I did something to you that I know was the worst thing that I could have done."

She looks down to my hand in hers for the moment as she continues, "what I did, was something that normal people would go to jail for. I wasn't thinking straight when I did what I did, all I wanted was to feel you again, feel what you felt that night. I needed it, but I should have asked permission, I know that. I should have asked you, should have told you what I wanted, but I thought I knew what you wanted but I guess I don't."

Emma stops talking for a moment as she licks her lips and moves her free hand to lift my chin up so that I'm look at her in the eyes before she asks, "What do you want Shalimar? Tell me, I want and need to know." I'm staring into her eyes and I'm in awe by the deep blue color of her eyes.

She's smiling at me and then whispers the pleading words with the emphasis of her eyes as she asks again, "tell me, please". I'm breathing harder as my eyes drop to her lips as I remember the soft and moist lips against mine whenever I'm alone at night with my thoughts.

She's moved closer to me and I begin to feel overwhelmed as I part my lips to answer, "I don't know". She just looks at me as I can tell that she's studying my facial expression as she lets the tension in the air hang for a moment longer.

With not a moment later I feel her move even closer to me as her lips that I have been staring at move closer to mine. With only a breath away from my lips I feel my heart pump like crazy in my chest, so loud that I swear that Emma can here it to. I still have my lips parted as Emma closes the gab between us and softly kisses my lips.

She sucks softly on both my bottom and top lip as I feel every ounce of my common sense leave me when I respond to her amazing kisses. We start of slowly as out tender kisses test the moment as we go deeper. With Emma's lips parted just enough I guide my tongue into her mouth as my lips latch onto hers, as soon as I taste her and feel her tongue against mine I move my hand to cover her thigh.

After barley a moment later, I realize what I'm doing and I immediately pull away, much to both Emma and apparently my disappointment. Her eyes slowly open as she smiles at me, but her smile disappears when she sees the look on my face. She bows her head and sits very still as I jump back off of the ledge and walk slowly back to my room.


	9. Emma's Confession

Emma's Confession

I gently close the door behind me when I finally find my way back to my room. I close it as gently as I can as I stand in front of my door with my right hand positioning me so that I won't fall. I feel my body shaking uncontrollably as I raise my shaky left hand to brush away loose strands of hair from my face.

I lick my lips and taste the attractive flavor of Emma all over them as I try to control myself from un-pure thoughts about someone that I should not be thinking about in that way. I feel my legs wobble and my core shake and throb, as I can't help but remember every move Emma made.

I force my other hand to place itself against the door as I try to control the physical effect Emma's kisses seemed to have on me. "Emma" I say through a tortured whisper as I resist the urge to relieve myself of the throbbing pulsating arousal that I feel because of her.

I ignore it as best as I can as I try to remind myself that Emma doesn't truly know what she wants, that Emma only thinks she knows what she wants. I try to remember everything I said that night when I was at the bar, but I can't remember anything other then Emma's lips and her tongue as I close my eyes painfully tight as I try to think about anything other then her.

But all I can think about is Emma and how her body sways when she walks, how perfect her breasts look with every shirt she wears. How her smile is so comforting while her eyes look so deeply into mine, and how her touch could mean the difference between a good day and a bad day.

"Stop it Shalimar!" I say out loud with gritted teeth, as my eyes remain closed as a single tear escapes my eyes as more threaten to break through as I try so hard to control myself. I cry harder, not because I'm sad, but because I'm so completely frustrated and lost. I can't understand why my life suddenly has become so difficult, _why is this happening to me? Why does it seem that every ounce of control that I had was all destroyed with just one of her sweet kisses?_

Shalimar thought to herself as she pushed herself away from her bedroom door and moved to her bathroom where she grabbed a towel off of the towel rack and threw it carelessly to the floor next to the shower. She slowly began to undress herself as she dropped each article of clothing down to the ground, trying to envision each article of her clothing as each worry in the world that infected her mind at the moment.

The water was warm and soothing as Shalimar felt the heat relax her tense muscles as she tried hard not to let the water wet her hair. She expertly avoided the water from wetting her hair as she casually cleaned the salty sweat from her body as she ignored the fact that the bandages on her hands were beginning to come off.

But with each touch of the wet bandages only made her remember the person who lovingly cared for her not fifteen minutes before. It was hard not to think of her, it was strange to Shalimar that she would feel so relaxed and comforted by the thought of Emma when she was feeling the exact opposite of her just fifteen minutes ago.

_What's going on with me?_ Shalimar thought to herself as she rinsed off the last of the soapy residue before turning off the warm water then getting out of the shower. As soon as Shalimar's wet body hit the air outside of the shower curtain, she shivered uncontrollably as she struggled to pick up her towel and dry herself quickly.

Her breasts swayed back and forth as she hurriedly dried herself off before wrapping the towel around her waist as she casually walked to her bathroom door and turned the knob slightly to the left to unlock it before turning it to the right to open the door.

If it wasn't for Shalimar's bandaged hand that blocked her sight as she used her teeth to rip apart the bandage on her left hand as her right hand held onto the door. She could have caught the very aroused and pleased expression on the face of an also very speechless brunet who sat on Shalimar's bed quietly.

"Wow" was all Emma could mutter as her eyes were practically glued to the breasts that hung freely on Shalimar's bare chest as Shalimar stopped dead in her tracks as she moved her eyes to peer on Emma who still didn't remove her eyes from Shalimar.

"SHIT!" Shalimar exclaimed as she turned herself around so fast that she slammed her head right against the doorpost as she moaned in pain, "Fucker!" Emma let out a soft giggle as soon as she was brought back to reality as she got up to move to the injured feral who refused to face her.

"Oh my God Shalimar, are you ok?" Asked Emma as she moved to touch her love interests shoulder but wasn't so surprised when Shalimar moved away from her to get a shirt on. "Yeah, I'm perfect, couldn't be better. Why would you ask?" Shalimar responded as she tried to make sure that her back was to Emma at all times as she rushed through her draws to find a shirt.

Emma giggled in response to Shalimar's obviously embarrassed reaction as she replied, "well, you did hit yourself pretty hard on that doorpost. Are you sure your alright?" When Shalimar finally found a shirt she hurriedly put it on as she moved two steps away from Emma as she tried to ignore the sudden scent of arousal, which she swore was coming from Emma.

"Yeah, I'm fine couldn't be better…How are you?" Shalimar asked out of both embarrassment and anxiety as she struggled to control her shaking body. As Shalimar struggled to think of something elaborate to say to keep the conversation going, Emma replied with a smile on her face, "hmm Shal?"

"Yeah?" Shalimar asked as she turned her head around to see Emma smiling at her wildly with hunger in her eyes. "What?" Shalimar asked as she turned to face Emma and waited cautiously as Emma's smile grew wilder as she moved slowly towards the shaky feral, "nice ass" Emma said in a low voice as Shalimar struggled to control herself.

"What?" Shalimar managed to say as Emma backed away from her with her smile still placed almost permanently on her young features, but it didn't take long before Shalimar realized what Emma meant when she suddenly felt a slight breeze on her backside. Shalimar let her hand graze the area where the breeze was coming from to realize that her towel was parted just enough to reveal her tight tanned ass.

She decided that now would be a good time to get some pants on as she blushed a deep crimson as Emma smirked then licked her lips hungrily as Shalimar tried to ignore the dampness between her thighs as she tried to smile casually,

"Hmmm…could..you..hmm..excuse me…for just…" Shalimar stumbled as she tried so hard to get the words out as Emma smiled seductively at her with a raised eyebrow as she urged the flustered feral to continue. "…uh..minute..please…" Shalimar tried to continue as Emma slowly made her way towards the stumbling feral.

"Shalimar" Emma called to her in a low voice as she literally stood only half an arms length away from the transfixed feral whose eyes followed every step Emma made towards her. "Shalimar" Emma said again as her hands moved to cup the ignorant and transfixed feral who at first tried to resist Emma's calls but soon realized it was useless.

"Shalimar, look at me" Emma commanded in the softest and most comforting voice that made even the ignorant Shalimar break away from her stubbornness to watch the angel eyes in front of her. "Shalimar, listen to me"

Emma said again with the same softness as her thumbs gently caressed Shalimar's smooth cheeks, "I don't know if you've notice yet…" Emma said as she stopped what she was saying to giggle at Shalimar's mesmerized expression as Emma closed the gap between them so that their noses and lips were almost touching.

"…There seems to be this one feral, that seems to have me…falling head over heals, I guess you can say. This one feral…" Emma stopped what she was saying again to listen to Shalimar's soft moan as her breasts pressed softly against the feral's. Emma smiled in delight over Shalimar's suddenly approval of such a jester as she continued,

"…Has me running around in circles it seems…this feral, seems to want something much more then friendship…" Emma stopped what she was saying once again as she nipped playfully at Shalimar's lips as she smiled at the deep sigh that escaped the transfixed feral.

"…But she doesn't seem to be able to admit to her _true_ feelings…why is this feral so scared of something she knows she wants?" Emma asked Shalimar, but was really just stating her own personal question as she watched Shalimar's reaction and her sudden sharp intake of breath when Emma's thigh placed itself between the aroused feral's legs.

Shalimar let her eyes venture downwards as she felt Emma's thigh move to fit between her shaky legs as she resisted the throbbing urge to release her pressure and ride Emma. "…What does this feral want...does she want to be touched?"

Emma asked as she brought her hand down the length of Shalimar's body then moved it under Shalimar's black baggy shirt to rise higher up Shalimar's bare back. Shalimar responded by letting out a soft moan as she felt herself move even closer to Emma when Emma's hand pressed harder on her back and forced her to come closer.

"…Does this feral want to be kissed?" Emma continued as she took a moment to study the seemingly entranced feral whose eyes were closed as she seemed to be enjoying the moment, and also trying to control herself.

Emma smiled as she studied the feral in her arms for a moment longer before leaning in to kiss Shalimar's lips with such tenderness and love. Emma kissed Shalimar with all the patients and love that she held for the feral as she soon felt the stubborn feral respond to her.

They nipped at each other's lips, Emma obviously teasing the feral since every time Shalimar would try to kiss Emma deeper, Emma would back away with a smile on her lips.

"Shalimar" Emma chanted again in a loving and pleased voice as she smiled at the feral's wondering eyes as they seemed to be more interested in Emma's shirt, or what's inside her shirt then what Emma was saying.

"Tell me…does this feral want to be loved?" Emma asked in a low whisper as Shalimar stayed completely still as the question entered her mind and stayed there without an answer as Emma stood there waiting. Emma held Shalimar even closer to her as she moved her right hand down south to meet Shalimar's hips as she began to remind Shalimar of the thigh between her legs.

With the unforgettable persuasion from Emma's right hand, Shalimar's hips began to move slowing in time with Emma's caresses against her thigh. Emma smirked leaving a tender kiss on the aroused feral's lips as she began to kiss her deeper.

Before Shalimar could react, she found herself pinned against her bedroom wall as Emma attacked her lips furiously with hers. Kiss after kiss, Shalimar could feel herself loosing all of her needed control as she felt Emma remove her lips from hers to plant them against her pulse point as she began to suck, lick, and kiss the sensitive area.

Shalimar held Emma closer as she panted and moaned in response to Emma's sudden change in priorities as Emma nibbled at her ear lob before whispering. "You're a liar if you think that you don't feel at least the slightest bit attracted to me Shalimar. You've got me bent over backwards…" Emma stopped for a moment to kiss the feral furiously as she began to notice Shalimar's lips parting to argue something meaningless to her.

Emma moved her left hand down south to Shalimar's cunt as she caressed it knowingly as she listened to Shalimar's reaction to the touch. As soon as Emma removed her lips from the now bucking Shalimar she continued her speech as she moved to whisper into Shalimar's ear. "…Making me feel so unwanted, unloved, unattractive, while you walk around ignoring me and what you feel. _This is you_ Shalimar…" Emma almost yelled into Shalimar ear as she forced more pressure against Shalimar's cunt.

"Ahhhh…" Shalimar responded as she tried to ignore Emma's clearly true statements as she tried to keep her hands to herself as Emma continued, "I love you Shalimar Fox!" Emma yelled into Shalimar's ear as she nibbled hungrily on Shalimar's earlobe. Shalimar was ready to explode as she felt her eyes turn yellow, as she couldn't help but imagine a naked Emma screaming her name.

"I know you love me to…let me tell you something Shalimar…I won't stop until I have you permanently in my arms, and when that time comes Shalimar…you'll admit to me that you loved me this whole time. You'll tell me you love me because sooner or later Shal, you're gunna swallow that feral pride you use to defend yourself with from reality. You'll tell me you love me, because that's what you feel; it's who you are that's trying to get itself free. But as always Shalimar, you always hide the best part of you; I won't play nice to get what I know you want." Emma stated as she licked lovingly on the now bruised love bite on Shalimar's pulse point

Shalimar looked out into space as she tried to digest what exactly Emma said to her, but before she could continue she felt the soft, gentle, and seductive kiss on her lips. She followed the tenderness of the kiss as she tried to reach out and touch Emma, trying to pull her closer to deepen the kiss. But before she knew it, Emma ripped herself out of Shalimar's grasp as she slowly walked backwards towards Shalimar's bedroom door.

"When we go on our mission Shalimar, I want you to imagine the kind of frustration, anger, and attraction I felt towards you. How every look I sent you was spat back in my face, I want you to consider my feelings for you…even if you don't come around and tell me you love me, or if you don't willingly be with me...I want you to think about how I felt instead of how you felt…I love you Shalimar, even though you hurt me so badly. I guess that's why they call it love, we always hurt the ones we love. Even when we're not with them." Emma said with a small smile as tears began to flood her powerful blue eyes.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Emma opened Shalimar's bedroom door and walked through it without a second glance or word to the feral she would die for. Shalimar slumped to the floor and stared into space as she tried to digest all that had happened as she tried to forget the effects of Emma obvious pain, as it seemed to be taking an affect on her.

_To Be Continued…_

**Authors Note:** Sorry for not updating in a while, I've been REALLY busy with school

lately. I hope that this very dramatic, funny, angsty chapter redeems myself, lol. I'm working on the next chapter right now, so it should be up soon, I know I usually post two chapters at a time, but I seriously need to update my other stories! lol. ENJOY!


	10. The Dream

The Dream

_Took me forever to get my hands bandaged up again, it would probably have been a lot easier if Emma had done it but your mad if you think I'm going to ask her to do it. Your mad if you think I want to be put in the crossfire of her way-to-blown-up proportions on her feelings again. I mean, shit! Come one now…she can't expect me to act on feelings that I'm not even sure I understand yet. _

_You know what aggravates me the most about her right now, it's that she acts like she knows what I want. She slipped into my room and waited for me to come back after I had a shower to tell me what 'I' want, can you believe that! I can't imagine any descent person ever wanting to be surprised like that after a relaxing shower, then told about 'there' feelings as if 'they' are an open book. _

_Goddamn am I glad to be out of there right now, now all I got to do is find a way to avoid going on this mission. I can't imagine being near her right now; I can't imagine having her eyes on me again or even the thought of her manipulating me. But I do have to admit it, I was being a little shit for last while with her, but what the hell does she expect from me? Why does she do this to me? Who the hell does she think she is?_

"Who the hell does she think she is?" I say to myself out loud as I find myself standing next to the beautiful indoor waterfall near the meditation pool. I frown after a moment when I realize that I have been thinking to myself as if I was writing a book for the past ten minutes. I smirk and shake my head from side to side as my right shaky hand moves to comfort my aching and confused head as I fight back a tear of frustration as the memory of Emma's last words float mercilessly to me….

"…_**I love you Shalimar, even though you hurt me so badly. I guess that's why they call it love, we always hurt the ones we love. Even when we're not with them." **_

_I hurt her so badly? Why am I so surprised and hurt by this painful confession by Emma…it's true though and I shouldn't be surprised by it…I must of hurt her, I ignored her and tried to avoid her through any means necessary…I just don't _"…know what to do" I reply as I voice the last words out loud as I let my hand float above the clear water as another frustrated tear falls down my face.

I tilt my head down low, as I squeeze my eyes shut in a childish attempt to keep another tear at bay as I try to think of a way out of seeing Emma again. _What should I do? Who will take my place? And what excuse do I have to get out of it without drawing to much suspicion to myself?_ I think to myself just as a name pops into my head, _Brennan…he'll keep her safe. Or at least he better keep her safe if he knows what's best for him!_ My thought continued as I feel my fists clench at the thought of Emma being hurt. ****

I force myself to relax as I realize that I have my fists clenched in a deadly force of what appears to be a mix of worry and fear. I move my head to rest normally in its casual position as I blink a few times in the hopes doing so will blink away the evidence of frustrated moisture from my eyes.

"I should go talk to Brennan," I say to myself as I force my heavy body off of its previously seated position and begin my search for the elemental. I find myself wondering throughout the many halls of the beautiful sanctuary until I find Brennan in his usual position on the staircase leading up to the lab.

"I've should have known you would be here" I say to the elemental who then raised his dark eyes up from his poetry book to rest affectionately on me. "Shal…hey" he says with a smile on his face as he closes the book and hold's it firmly in his hands, "hey back" I reply with a coy smile on my face as I continue to watch him hopefully.

"Is…huh…is there something you needed to tell me?" Brennan asks as he frowns at my obvious discomfort, "yeah, a favor if you don't mind" I reply generally as I wait for his answer from his worried expression. "Huh…sure thing Shal what's the deal?" Brennan asks as he watches me more closely as I try to avoid his eyes.

"You know that mission that Adam sent Emma and I on?" I ask as I move to sit in a nearby chair, "yea…what about it?" Brennan asks as he glances between the book in his hands to my blank expression. "Well…I need you to take my place on the mission with Emma-" "why Shal what's wrong?" Brennan interrupted, as his face remained permanent with worry.

"Nothing…nothings wrong I just need some time off, you see I'm…I'm a little hurt-" "what? Your hurt since when?" Brennan interrupted once again as his eyes then moved to fall onto the fresh bandages on my fists. "Yeah…I huh…I hit the punching bag to hard I guess…and huh…kinda bruised-" "and this effects you not taking part in the mission _because_?" Brennan interrupted for the third time as he practically sung out the last word annoyingly.

"It affects my 'not taking part in the mission' due to that fact that it hurts like a bitch and bleeds on occasion-" "bullshit" Brennan interrupted once again as I try to fight back the urge to twist his annoying neck off of his ignorant head. "I'm serious Brennan, I can't go on this mission-" "and why the hell not?" Brennan shot back with his eyes fixed skeptically into mine.

"Just because ok!" I responded as I try to control the yellow feel of my eyes, as Brennan's face seems to make me want to beat him to a bloody pulp. "Ok, ok I'll go" Brennan replies as he moves to stand to his full height as he makes his way up to the lab to talk to Adam, "thanks Bren" I call out to him as he stops for a moment to turn his head back to my direction as he says, "no problem Shal, just let me talk to Adam and I'll tell him the new plan."

"I really appreciate that Bren" I call out to him just as he makes his way to the lab doors he stops to holler back to me, "don't worry about Emma…she'll be safe with me" and then he walks through the now open lab doors as I watch for a moment longer as the doors close after him, as I stand on my own with a pain of doubt in the pit of my stomach.

_Okie Shal, let's go_ I say to myself as I begin to take small unsure steps backwards before twirling myself around to be confronted by the angered eyes of a tall Psionic who looks to me with just pity and sadness as a tear falls down her angelic features.

"Emma?" I whisper softly as the figure before me moves back from it's position and slowly fades away as I'm lost in the moment with a million questions and a sharp pain of guilt in the pit of my stomach. "Emma" I call out to the fading image of the Psionic as I move my heavy feat to follow the dissipate image.

The figure moves to fast for me as it moves to hide behind one of the many wild growing bushes, which branches flung in many directions, which ends up hiding the depressing version of Emma. I walk towards the bushy plant, which the figure hid behind only to discover the last vision of the particular figure disappearing into thin air as I watch in both amazement and wonderment over the allusion that played out before me moments ago.

_What was that?_ I think to myself as I keep my eyes fixed in the direct position that the allusion disappeared in not a moment before. _I'm loosing it aren't I? Among other strange imaginings I'm now seeing allusions of my best friend, Emma!_ I say to myself as I bow my head and squeeze my yes shut just as I muttered the word, "best friend" out loud to myself to hear.

_That word doesn't fit the purpose now does it? Emma's not my best friend anymore…but she still holds meaning to me, but I guess I'm to stupid to know what category she fits under now…or maybe I do know, I'm just to afraid to say it let alone think it in my confused mind. _

I raise a still shaky hand to my forehead as the pain of the headache rolls through my mind like one of Brennan's electric coils. "Oh god this head of mine" I say out loud as I decide at that moment that a good couple hours of sleep would be the best remedy for that pain in my skull. So I swiftly move around the brilliant bush as I try to make my way to my room so I could sleep a better dream of a situation that I would rather be in then be in love with my best friend.

I make it to my room just as Emma, wearing her leather suit, walks causally down the hallway towards me. I sense her presence as I hastily open the door to my room and then close it securely behind me, I make sure that the lock on the door is on as I don't even bother to take off my clothes as I practically dive onto my great bed. I have my eyes closed as I try to ignore the fact that Emma is standing just outside my door. I try to ignore her when she asks, "Shal? What the hell has gotten into you? It's not like you to just walk away from a mission?" "Yeah I know Em, I'm sorry for that…but I'm not feeling so hot right now-" "you have a headache" Emma responded knowingly as Shalimar snapped her eyes open at the Psionic's abrupt answer.

"Yeah…how did you know?" I ask as I hear a soft chuckle from an obviously disappointed Psionic, "It's not as easy as you'd like to think to block out everyone's pain. I couldn't help but notice your pain, as well as something else…" Emma responded while leading off of the subject to move away from the door. "What do you mean?" I ask as I wait for Emma to reply back, but she doesn't and it's obvious that she's already left to go on the mission while I'm left here to discover my next course of action.

I lay on the bed silently as I wait for sleep to take over me, after about ten minutes of trying I finally feel myself slip away into the dream world.

**_The room is dark; the only light to be seen is the illuminating raise of fire light emanating from a single candle followed by many. I feel my subconscious eyes watch each flame with fear, which quickly dissolves into acceptance as my subconscious guides me to a new element of the dream._**

_**I hear 'sounds', sounds of hitched sighs followed by moans and groans. My subconscious leads me to discover the sounds of pleasure as I hear more sounds that make my center heat and throb as I follow the trail of lit candles. The 'sounds' of pleasure grow louder as my subconscious reveals yet another element to the dream, I suddenly smell the distinct sent of arousal as I feel my eyes turn yellow in my own arousal.**_

_**My subconscious self, leads me down the trail as the ground beneath my bare feet reveal the soft fresh green grass and dirt instead of the original hard wood floor the dream started with. My eyes look to the ground in wonder as my attention slowly brings me back to a new sound; I hear the sounds of passionate lips tasting lips as soft giggles echo amusingly in my head. **_

_**The sounds grow even louder as I approach the two lovers that I still can't see yet. The sounds of pleasure seem so close that I can swear that the lovers are laying right in front of me, hiding there obvious passion for each other in the darkness where I can't see them yet. My subconscious walks further into the darkness as more candles reveal the new changes to the ground I walk on as I notice the earth around my feet has changed into a harsher feeling of what appears to be rock.**_

_**My eyes peer at the ground as I continue to walk, as I'm some how aware that I'm now inside a cave. The cave walls echo the sounds of pleasure even louder into my mind as I suddenly hear the splashing of water followed by giggles of happiness soon turned into loud moans of pleasure. I continue my walk with determination when all of a sudden I hear a whispered call of my name; "Shalimar" the familiar voice calls out to me.**_

_**I stop where I stand as I frantically search the darkened area around me for the speaker of the familiar voice as I hear it call out to me again, "Shalimar" it calls to me through a moan as I stand in puzzlement. I suddenly feel myself move faster towards the voice when I suddenly realize that the voice belongs to Emma. I don't say anything I just run as I try to find the voice of Emma.**_

_**I run, faster and faster until I see a large opening in the cave wall above me as I see the light of many candles brighten the entrance to the room as I hear Emma chant my name again, "Shalimar". My eyes go yellow as I feel the feral in me move by instinct as I run up the steep hill to get to the bright cave room. My panting is loud and heavy as I hear it loudly in my head as I finally reach the opening to the bright room. **_

_**I peer inside the room to see candles lighting the entire room as a large mass of blankets move in rhythm to regulated moans and gasps under the mass of blankets. After a moment of watching I watch as the blankets slowly reveal the two sweaty bodies of the passionate lovers. I watched as they tenderly kiss and caress each others fit and sweaty bodies as the masculine golden haired women let her hands roam down south of the gasping brunet's body. **_

_**I watch, almost hypnotized by the beauty of the moaning brunet who instantly began to buck in time with the blond women's pumping fingers as she kissed her breasts lovingly. As the blond woman kissed the brunets breasts she licked seductively around each aroused nipple before pressing her lips to one at a time as she sucks and kissed each nipple.**_

_**I bring my aroused gaze to the brunet who moans and groans in pleasure as her right hand grasps the golden hair of the women on top of her as she turns her attention back to me. I gasp in shock when I realize who the brunet was, it was Emma, and she was whispering my name as the blond women slowly kissed her way down Emma's body until she couldn't be seen at all.**_

_**Emma watched me as the golden haired women began to lick between her folds as I watched Emma's face in confusion and embarrassment as I tried to look away. But each time I tried to look away, her alluring whisper of my name brought me back to her aroused and sweaty face. So I watched as I felt the most peculiar feeling of betrayal and jealousy, as I finally was able to bring my eyes away from Emma's face to peer down at the sheets where the head of the golden haired women continued her exploration of Emma's cunt. **_

_**Jealousy, anger, and betrayal began to grow within me as I watched and listened as Emma began to grow closer and closer to orgasm. I let my eyes roam her pleasured features as my jealousy and anger overwhelmed my senses. Before I knew it I ran to the blankets that hid the golden haired women and I pulled it off of her to reveal the women still latched onto Emma. In my Jealous rage I grasped the women by her golden hair and pulled her to her feet as I quickly grasped her throat, not ready to let her go so easily. **_

_**But as I held the women in my tight grasps a hear Emma call out to me in a dreamy haze, "Shalimar, what are you doing?" "I'm doing what's best, Emma" I reply as I begin to tighten my grip on the golden haired women's throat. "Shalimar, what are you doing to yourself?" Emma asks in a dreamy haze as I feel the room around me twist in a dreamy haze as I reply, "What? What do you mean what am I doing to myself?"**_

_**I turn my yellow eyes to an out of breath Emma who flashes me a smile that confuses me indefinitely, "look" Emma commands as she licks her slightly swollen lips. I eye her curiously as I remember the woman that's still in my grasp, assuming that Emma meant the girl in my grip I turn my eyes to study the women.**_

_**It takes me a minute to understand who exactly I'm looking at but it doesn't take me much longer to realize that I have let the women fall to the floor as I gasp in surprise at the women's identity. The golden haired women lays still for a moment before taking her left hand to her face in an attempt to brush away the sweaty locks of hair from her face to reveal the same yellow cats eyes as well as the face of Shalimar Fox.**_

_**The golden haired women grinned teasingly as she asks, "Shalimar, what do you think your doing?" the question hangs thick in the warm air as the golden haired women quickly crawled her way back to the arms of a smiling Emma who held the naked feral in her arms as she tenderly caresses the women's naked chest. "Shalimar? What are you doing?" Emma asked again as she smiled at the confused feral while the other feral in her arms purred lovingly while burying her face in Emma's neck.**_

_**Shalimar looked away for a moment as she tried to make sense of this all-to-real dream. When Shalimar finally turned her attention back to the pair of lovers cuddling, she couldn't help but notice the scar like bite mark on Emma's lower neck, the same mark was visible on the same area of the neck on the golden haired women also. Just as Shalimar was about to say something about the mark, Emma brought her beautiful blue eyes to Shalimar's brown eyes as she replied in a dreamy haze, "you know what this means." **_

_**It was simple and obvious what the dream version of Emma was referring to, but it still puzzled Shalimar as to the meaning of the marks. She was about to ask Emma what the marks meant when realization struck her brutally, "Yes Shalimar…" Emma replied as she stopped to laugh at the look on Shalimar's face. "…You know what it means" Emma finished just as she pulled the feral in her arms up so she could plant a hot passionate kiss on the lips of the Shalimar look alike. **_

Awake now, Shalimar pushed the covers off of her sweaty body as she held her head in her hands while she struggled to control her rapidly beating heart.

**Authors Note:** I'd like to thank all of you for your reviews so far, thank you very much smiley face…I should be adding a new chapter soon, hopefully by the end of the week.


	11. Made up my Mind

Made up my Mind

"I'm sorry Adam, I need some time off. Some time away from everything, just for now at least…until I sort some things out" I tell Adam through my com-link as I heave my large suitcase and some smaller suitcases with everything I would need in it into the passenger seat of the double helix. "Shalimar what the hell has gotten into you? This isn't like you to just take off in a middle of a mission." Adam's voice replied through the com-link.

"I know I know!" Shalimar responded as she moved to sit in the pilot seat of the Double Helix, "believe me Adam, I'm more of a danger to the team right now. I'm not thinking straight, I need some time to figure some things out-"is it about Emma" Adam interrupted as the response seemed to be more of a statement then an actual question.

"I can't talk about her right now, Adam please, just except the fact that I'm not in the right state of mind right now. I need some time." Shalimar replied as she sat in the chair before pressing the button on her right to close the door to the Double Helix as she prepared for take off when Adam's next statement made time stand still. "Shalimar, Emma's has been captured…Brennan got out in time but Emma's still trapped inside the compound"

"…What?" Shalimar responded to the news as she literally froze at the idea of Emma being captured and possible tortured. "Shalimar…she needs you" Adam replied with strong emphasis as Shalimar's mind basically shut down at the possibility of Emma being seriously hurt. "Shalimar?" Adam called out, as the silence between the two grew uncomfortably silent.

_No, not Emma…anything but that_ Shalimar managed to think to herself as the feral rage in her began to defrost the shock of the news and began to fuel Shalimar's need to save Emma before it was to late. Not a moment later, Shalimar guided the Double Helix out of Sanctuary while plugging in the right co-ordinates to the military base that held Emma captive.

_I'll be damned if I let Emma down this time…damn it! what was I thinking? I shouldn't have made Brennan go with Emma. I should have gone with her instead! I mean come on, that idiot was probably to busy showing off his body to ever consider Emma's saf-_ "Shalimar come back right now! We don't have time for your arrogance" came the voice of Brennan on the com-link. "What did you just say to me?" Shalimar questioned as she suddenly felt the all to familiar rise of anger as she tried to remain cool for the purpose of Emma's rescue.

"Oh never mind, just come back so that we can get a plan together and-" "there's no time for that. I can get Emma out of their no problem." Shalimar stated as she checked the co-ordinates again to find that she was only 3 minutes away from the military base, "oh what? You have a plan?" came the voice of Jesse from his com-link.

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do have a plan" Shalimar stated as she flexed her muscles in anxiety, "Oh really. What's the plan?" Brennan asked as annoyingly as possible as Adam stood by and watched anxiously, "it's quiet simple actually, I'm shocked that non of you have figured it out yet." Shalimar replied smugly as she tried to keep her anger at bay, "well what's the plan?" Brennan asked annoyingly again, "I get her out!" Shalimar shot back before pulling the ring off of her finger then placing it securely in her jean pocket.

Just as the Double Helix landed onto the ground, farther then the previous time Shalimar had been there, Shalimar quickly got out of the Double Helix and just as quickly, pressed the magic button to hide the Double Helix from all sensors as well as eyes. She looked around her for any signs of watchmen lurking around the area; as she swiftly moved among the shadows of the object around her, being conscious of the cameras around her, Shalimar quickly found herself inside the base with out any sort of detection.

_Where are you…come on! Where would they be hiding you_ Shalimar thought to her self as she tried to figure out where exactly Emma would be. After entering the same doors as she did the last time, an idea suddenly made its way to her, _If I can get to the surveillance room, and check the camera's, I could find out where they took Emma. Or better yet…find someone who would_ Shalimar thought to her self as she watched the markings on the wall to find the right direction to the surveillance room.

After successfully avoiding all the cameras so far, and after being able to successfully knock out a lone solider, Shalimar, who was know wearing the lone soldiers uniform, quickly continued to find the surveillance room. After a few minutes of following the arrows and trying to act normal, Shalimar finally found the right room and entered it casually as she made sure that the door was locked as the interrogation of the two men sitting in there leather chairs, eating a donut, and sipping there coffee was about to begin.

"Hey boys...I was just wondering if you knew where a good friend of mine went? Let's see, she's tall, brown hair, blue eyes, and…beautiful…seen her around?" Shalimar asked as she moved to block the fist of the man on the right as she kicked the man on the left in the stomach before dealing a hard blow with her fist to the man on her right, leaving him unconscious on the floor.

"Well, I guess he won't be saying anything for a while" Shalimar said confidently as she punched the other man in the face before using her feral strength to pull the man up to his feet with just one hand as she slammed him, hard, against the stone wall. "You've got to the count of three to tell me what I need to know, or your not gunna see tomorrow, I promise you." Shalimar threatened as she felt the anger and the fear of losing Emma as her cat's eyes revealed a better reason for the guard to fess up.

"…O...k...ok" the guard struggled to reply as Shalimar's hand loosened her hold of his neck just a little, "your not gunna lie to me are ya?" Shalimar questioned as the man quickly shook is head from side to side as Shalimar threw the man to the ground before saying, "1…2…-" "she's in cell bloke 123 section A, down the hall and to your left…you can't miss it" replied the guard as fast as he could while Shalimar's cold expression was still fixed on him.

"Anything else?" Shalimar asked as she watched the man intently, "just that the door leading into the cell block has a combination code…the code is 3,4,2,9,6" replied the guard as Shalimar flashed him her yellow eyes as she asked once more, "anything more?" "Yes…when you get to her cell, you have to open it using this code; 1,2,4,9,1" finished the guard as he trembled in fear at the growl coming from Shalimar, "you better not be lying to me-" "no, no I'm not! I'm telling you the truth, just don't hurt me!"

Shalimar grinned at the man's cowardess as she replied coolly, "for a security guard, your quiet the coward" before finishing the final blow to the man with a closed fist that knocked the man unconscious. _Emma,_ _I'm coming for you…just hold on_ Shalimar thought to herself as she grabbed the unconscious man on the floor and dragged him towards the closet on the far side of the room as she practically threw him inside before returning for the second man.

When Shalimar finally got the two security guards securely imprisoned in the closet, she made sure that the closet door was locked before making her way towards the video monitors. After a few minutes of tapping through the video feed, with the help of past computer hacking lessons from Jesse, Shalimar managed to create a feedback-loop that would buy Shalimar and Emma an undetected escape. _This should cover our escape_ Shalimar thought to her self as she typed in the last detail to the command before pressing the enter key,

_Ok, time to get you out of their Emma_ Shalimar thought to her self as she literally jumped out of the leather chair and went through the door and out into the hallway. After following the now unconscious guards directions, Shalimar found her self in front of a large steal door with a control conceal on the right hand side of the door with the buttons numbering from 1 to 10. "Ok, time to play the memory game" Shalimar said to her self out loud as she checked that the coast was clear before punching in the correct code for the steal door to swing wide open.

As soon as Shalimar entered the room she quickly but cautiously checked every cell until the very last cell at the very end of the room, "Emma!" Shalimar called out as the form of the young brunet suddenly jerked back into reality by the call of her name. "Shal!" Emma called back as she ran to meet the joyful feral on the other side of the bars, "don't worry I'll get you out" Shalimar responded as she quickly punched in the digits into the control conceal right next to her.

Not a moment later, the doors to the cell swung open and out came Emma with a large smile on her face as she graciously hugged the off guard feral, "you came back for me…I knew you would" Emma replied as she held on to the feral who hugged her back for a moment until the reality that they were still in the military base brought them back to there senses.

"We've got to hurry" Shalimar stated as she started for the door. The pair quickly made their way out, as carefully as they could, avoiding many close calls by patrolling soldiers but with the help of Emma's Psionic abilities they made it out safely and undetected.

As Emma and Shalimar made their escape, they quickly boarded the Double Helix and took off as fast as they could, "Thanks again" Emma said as she watched Shalimar happily as Shalimar smiled awkwardly before replying, "no problem Emma…what are friends for, right?" Emma shot Shalimar a strange look as she replied coolly, "yeah, something like that".

The rest of the ride back to Sanctuary was in silence as Shalimar clutched the control stick as she struggled to keep her mind on anything but Emma's staring eyes on her. "So, your safe right? Your not hurt or anything?" Shalimar asked as she glanced back to look at Emma's emotionless face before Emma replied, "no, they didn't touch me…just well…they just threw me in a cell and left, kinda got the feeling that they really didn't know what to do with me."

Shalimar glanced at the control panel and read the co-ordinates; they were only less then 5 minutes away from the safety of sanctuary, and Shalimar couldn't wait to drop Emma off and be on her way. "Are you going somewhere?" Emma asked in a low voice, so low that Shalimar almost missed it, "…why do you ask?" Shalimar replied as she struggled to think of some sort of distraction to get Emma off if the subject.

"Because your suit-cases are here, and you won't give me a straight answer" Emma replied sadly as Shalimar suddenly felt a twinge of guilt, "Emma…" Shalimar almost finished her response but stops mid way as she prepares for landing, they are now back at sanctuary, and the boys are waiting for them just outside.

"Oh shit I forgot to put my com-link back on" Shalimar exclaimed as she dug into her jean pocket to get her com-link, once she got it she put it back on her finger as Emma watched her emotionlessly, "Where are you going Shal?" Emma asked just as Shalimar hit the button to open the doors to the Double Helix.

"…No where as of now" Shalimar finally replied just as she left the Double Helix to be greeted by Brennan, Jesse, and Adam. Before the boy's could say a word to Shalimar, she walked up to a worried Adam and stated, "I'm leaving, I don't know when I'll be back…I need to know that you understand that I'm not ready to be here right now…I'm leaving today, don't mention this to Emma." Adam looked to Shalimar sadly as he motioned for Shalimar to follow as they walked away from Emma who was being hugged by a relieved Jesse and Brennan.

"Are you sure about this Shalimar…can't you work things out-" "no Adam I can't, I tried, but I can't…I need to go, far from here, far from her-" "yeah, what's going on with you to?" Adam interrupted as he eyed Shalimar suspiciously. "…I don't know Adam, it's just heat right now, between Emma and me…she wants so much from me when I don't know if I want the same from her…she's just…she's just, trying to make up my mind up for me, and it's screwing me up...I need to think, I need to be able to sort things out, wait things out" Shalimar replied as she felt her self loose a bit of her control as she felt the frustration and confusion come back to her.

Adam just eyed her sympathetically as he asked, "and you think that by leaving her. That your problems will be over? That you'll be able to come back and expect things to be back to normal?" Adam asked as Shalimar replied, "I've made up my mind", "I know you have, just as I know that once this feral makes up her mind…nothing in this world will stop her" Adam replied as Shalimar smiled at his words.

"Adam, I mean it though…I'm leaving, I don't want her to know where I am, I don't want her to find me, I don't want to see her until I can find out what I really want. For God sake Adam she's my best friend, if I let something happen between us, only to find out that it was nothing but heat…that I hurt her because I wasn't sure of my feelings, then that's the worst thing that I could ever do. I can't play with her heart, I've hurt her enough…but I can't be with her, I can't give 'us' a chance, until I know that there will be an 'us'…you know what I mean?" Shalimar asked as she held her self in her own need for comfort as Adam replied, I respect your decision, just check in once in a while."

"I will Adam, at least once a day. Wouldn't want you to forget about me now would I?" Shalimar joked as Adam chuckled at the sudden change of seriousness of the conversation. "Will you at least say goodbye to her?" "No…I think it's best that I just go" Shalimar replied as she stopped her walking followed by Adam to look him straight in the eye. "You realize that you'll hurt her terribly if you just leave" "I know" Shalimar replied as she brought her eyes down to the ground as Adam continued.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" "I've made up my mind" Shalimar replied blankly before Adam responded with his inner most wisdom, "then go, I hope you find what your looking for…When your deciding your feelings I want you to remember this…we don't pick the ones we fall in love with, it picks us." "But I'm not-" "you don't know yet because your afraid to accept it…go now, and find your way, but don't try to run away from love Shalimar, it always finds a way."

_**To be Continued…**_


	12. Surprise

_**Surprise**_

**Authors Note:** I think you guys are going to like this chapter…this chapter contains F/F. you know what that means. Wink wink.

The air was clean and pure; the sky took to the color of the most beautiful shade of sky blue, as the water that stretched out into the distance was the cleanest and clearest water that Shalimar had ever seen. She watched the beautiful sparkle from the waters from her standing position on the front porch of her new home, as the sun shined its bright rays against the water.

Shalimar closed her eyes for a moment as she embraced the cool breeze that brought to her feral senses the beautiful sent of the nature all around her as she cleared her mind of all her troubles. _Finally, sometime alone…time for this feral to be one with nature, no more surprises, no more frustration…just peace and quiet _Shalimar thought to herself as she smiled at the idea of actual alone time, no one could pester her about worries or the future, she was safe to breath and live the way a feral like her should.

So Shalimar relaxed. For the next couple days, the only thoughts that where in her mind were the sweet and sometimes frustrating thoughts of Emma, and also the disturbing meaning of her nightmare. _That dream…it's a sign I'm sure, maybe my subconscious playing a trick on me…or, maybe it's my future, my future with Emma._ Shalimar thought to her self as she tried to dismiss the thousandth thought of Emma from her mind.

Shalimar perched herself next to the water side as she watched her reflection in the water, _God why do I miss her so badly! Damn it!_ Shalimar thought to herself as she slashed at her image. The water rippled with the disturbance of its smooth peacefulness as Shalimar closed her eyes for a moment to clear her angered thoughts.

_How ironic, I finally get a chance to be out in the wild and be alone with my thoughts and now all I can think about is Emma!_ Shalimar thought to her self as she couldn't help but reflect on the past few days' fantasies of Emma, brought on of course by the continuous repeat if the same dream. _Maybe I should see her, maybe if I could just see her face again then maybe these dreams will go away…or maybe I can just give in and give this relationship a try-what am I thinking? The risks are to high I could risk our friendship…but if I don't take the risk, then I'll never really know how soft her skin is underneath her clothes._ Shalimar debated with herself as her eyes wondered back to her reflection in the water.

Just as her eyes were focused on the water, the small form of green turtle with yellow and orange stripes on its arms and legs crawled onto the shore. "Hey little fella, what are you up to?" Shalimar asked as the turtle raised its small green head to look up to Shalimar. "Why are you all on your own, shouldn't you be out with your friends…or out with that cute little she-turtle over there?" Shalimar asked as she grinned at both her stupidity and the turtle's abrupt shake of its head in protest.

"Running away from love to eh? I know the feeling" Shalimar replied to the turtle as she smiled at the turtle's cute form, "I know this is stupid and I doubt you'd understand what I'm saying but…there's this girl, she's my best friend in the whole world, she's fallen in love with me it seems…and I think I've fallen for her too…but, I ran away from her and also my family because of this love thing, I'm not sure if loving her will be worth it…I don't know if it's worth loving a best friend when you risk your friendship for it. It would be wise not to be involved with a friend because when it ends you lose the friendship to. But then again, to love someone is to take risks, and I guess I'm not sure if I'm ready to take that risk."

Shalimar conversed with the apparently attentive turtle, when all of a sudden the slim form of a mysterious figure crept up behind the feral, and since Shalimar was to far in to her conversation with the turtle, she didn't notice the figure behind her.

"So what do you think Mr. Turtle? Should I give that beautiful woman a chance?" "Yes" came the voice of the mysterious women, as Shalimar jumped in surprise, her muscles tensed for a moment until she realized who exactly it was that was standing behind her. "Emma" Shalimar called out as she force her self to turn around and meet the Psionic face to face. The Look on Emma's face was hard to describe, it was a smile that Shalimar had never seen before on her best friend's face, it shocked her for a moment until she was brought back to reality by Emma's response, "It's been awhile, to long if you ask me".

"Adam told you where I was?" Shalimar asked as Emma shook her head, "No, I found where you were hiding by myself. I knew you were here the whole time." "What? I don't understand?" Shalimar replied with a look of confusing on her features, "silly feral…where's the turtle?" Emma asked as she nodded her head in the direction of the turtle. Shalimar who was even more confused by Emma's response, turned her attention back to the turtle to discover that the creature was gone, "What the? It was right here a second ago" Shalimar exclaimed.

Now standing beside the confused feral, Emma replied, "It was never there to begin with Shalimar" "What do you mean it was never there I saw it! For God sake I was talking to the damn thing before you showed-" Shalimar stopped for a moment as realization struck her. _Holy shit! She's been messing with my head_ Shalimar thought before whipping her head to look Emma in the eye who was smiling back at her, "you were messing with my head!"

"Shalimar, I told you that I would do anything I could to get you to admit that you loved me-" "but I didn't say I loved you…I said that I had 'fallen' for you" interrupted Shalimar as Emma chuckled at the feral. "Same thing…after all, you did say the word love and I was indeed involved in that sentence" Emma replied as she eyed the feral proudly. Shalimar looked away for a moment as she chuckled at Emma's obviously great lengths she had taken to get her to admit to loving Emma.

"Is this real?" Shalimar asked as Emma couldn't help but chuckle again, "yes, this is all real...I just added a few things, like the turtle for example" Emma replied as Shalimar turned to face Emma, "and what else?" Shalimar asked as she frowned at Emma's strange smile, "This…" Emma stated as she forced her lips onto Shalimar in a searing kiss that almost knocked the feral off of her feet.

Emma broke away from the kiss long enough to add, "don't fight this Shalimar" before placing her lips back onto Shalimar's anticipating lips. They kissed for what seemed like hours before finally breaking away. "So I guess this means you're mine" Emma replied as Shalimar smiled at her, "hey, don't think I'm gunna let you have me so easily" Shalimar kidded as she ran from Emma.

Shalimar ran as fast as she could until she reached the door to her cabin, she waited for a moment for Emma to follow before opening the door and letting the Psionic enter her home. Just seconds after closing the door, Shalimar soon found her self pinned against the door trying to keep up with Emma's hungry kisses.

The kisses where hungry and demanding as hands roamed to find the places they dreamed of touching as Emma kept her feral contended against the door. Shalimar broke away from Emma first as she quickly went for Emma's neck instead as the Psionic tried to keep there balance by placing a shaky hand against the door. Shalimar continued to lick, kiss, and suck against Emma's pulse point, resulting in a few low moans from her lover, as her hands moved to take Emma's shirt off. In less then a minute the shirt was gone, leaving the Psionic with only her braw and pants on as Shalimar quickly turned the tables on the Psionic and had her pressed against the door.

Shalimar smiled evilly up at Emma as she moved down south to dip her tongue inside Emma's naval as her skilled hands undid Emma's pants. "Shalimar" Emma called as she watched the golden haired feral move to stand, "Emma" Shalimar replied as she kissed the Psionic deeply as Emma moved her hands to roam the flat powerful stomach of the feral.

The heat gathered in all one place as Shalimar and Emma kissed each other hungrily. Shalimar removed her shirt with the help of Emma as Emma quickly began to leave a trail of kisses across Shalimar chest as Shalimar moaned in approval. "Emma wait" Shalimar stated as Emma stopped at once, "What's wrong?" Emma asked as she slowly moved to undo Shalimar's pants as Shalimar tried to gather her breath. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry" Shalimar apologized as Emma suddenly moved to kiss her feral, "sorry about what?" Emma asked as Shalimar tried to get her next words out between kisses.

"I'm sorry…for being…a jerk…I definitely…definitely…wouldn't want…you to think…that you're…less then…perfect" Shalimar confessed just as Emma broke away from there kiss to smile at Shalimar happily. "You think I'm perfect…mmm I think I'm going to have to give you a reward" Emma replied as Shalimar grinned at the possibilities of what that would mean.

"Follow" Emma replied bluntly, as she grabbed onto Shalimar's hand and guided her towards Shalimar's bedroom.


End file.
